By Ann Menasche
“Lesbian Devil to Straight Man Saint: a trip through trans hell and back” by Scott Newgent (2024)
Lesbian Devil is a gripping, no-holds-barred, finely crafted page turner that exposes the significant role of homophobia in “transing away the lesbian.” It chronicles Scott Nugent/Kellie King’s life including the myriad influences that conspired to convince a 42-year-old lesbian, successful career woman, and mother that she was born in the “wrong” body and needed to pursue medical transition. After ingesting cross sex hormones and obtaining multiple drastic surgeries, Kellie emerged with a male appearance – though still a woman – and with her health severely compromised by constant pain and frequent life-threatening infections. Tellingly, the acceptance and self-acceptance that she sought in a sexist and homophobic world through medical transition continued to elude her.
Kellie also emerged soon afterwards with a profound commitment to save gender non-conforming and lesbian/gay children and teens from a similar fate.
Kellie was a spirited and athletic child who grew into a woman who excelled in business, obtaining an executive position in sales. Like many other women, including many lesbians, Kellie’s outspoken and competitive personality did not conform to the narrow sexist stereotypes of “femininity”, and she often felt it would have been easier being a man. Yet, she dressed the part of a professional woman, wore make-up and heels, and did not appear “butch.” This did not stop the first gender counselor she met with, a trans-identified male, from asking her, “how long have you been dressing as a man, Kellie?”
Though Kellie was not unloved as a child, she experienced significant trauma. Her father was physically abusive, and her mother struggled with addiction. As a teen, she was raped. A few years later, Kellie attempted suicide. But to the gender industry, this was irrelevant. All the counselors and doctors Kellie spoke to about transitioning “affirmed” her, led her down the conveyor belt of medical transition without ever asking any questions about her mental health history or even why she wanted to transition.
“Each medical professional I came across guaranteed a utopian paradise on the other side of the transition. I wanted finally to be accepted, loved and seen as straight in this fantasy land.”
The most compelling promise for Kellie was that once transitioned she would escape the stigma of being a lesbian. When Kellie first came out as a lesbian, her grandfather, the greatest source of emotional support in her life, her “guiding light” as she called him, disowned her for being a lesbian. This was a major blow.
Then some years later, Kelli fell passionately in love with a co-worker, Jacqueline. Jacqueline came from a close knit religious Catholic family and was in a loveless marriage to a man. What followed was a tumultuous on again, off again relationship where Jacqueline went back and forth with her abusive husband as she struggled to accept herself, and by extension, Kellie, as a lesbian. Needless to say, Jacqueline’s parents did not accept Kellie and encouraged their daughter to return to her husband.
As Kellie explained, “The vitriol that Jacqueline’s family directed at her was unbearable to my ears. Their pleas for her to be purified and cast out the so-called demons were incessant. The yearning for acceptance and sense of belonging and an unconditional love devoid of violence was all I ever sought. Yet (Jacqueline’s) family painted me as a pariah, undeserving of love from even God himself.”
Jacqueline was quick to embrace the idea that Kellie was really a man and encouraged her transition.
Later, in her transman “disguise,” Kellie got to know and became very close to Jacqueline’s family. Except for their rabid homophobia, they turned out to be very fine, caring people. As a “man”, Kellie was totally accepted and welcomed into the family circle. But this acceptance was based on a lie, and she found herself deeply troubled by this deception. Kellie was still female, still a lesbian.
Much of the book describes Kellie’s struggles with severe medical complications from her surgery, complications that brought her close to death. She worried about not living long enough to meet her grandchildren.
Finally, breaking it off with Jacqueline, she began to regret the path she had taken.
Yet, there was no going back for Kellie. The physical changes carved onto her body are permanent. Kellie graciously forgave Jacqueline and others who had hurt her. She could forgive everyone but herself. She writes, “…a more profound forgiveness still eludes me – self-forgiveness. The mirror reflects a face I do not recognize, physically or spiritually and fills me with hate for myself that I fight daily; it’s my face. Yet there might be a day when I look into my eyes and find redemption…Still after all these years, I miss Kellie horribly.”
I wish Scott/Kellie healing as she continues her essential work of saving future generations of gender non-conforming children, future generations of lesbians from the false promises and permanent harms of medicalization.
As she frequently proclaims in urging opposition to gender medicalization of children, “Scream louder.”
“Lesbian Devil to Straight Man Saint” can be purchased through Amazon or Barnes and Nobel. Please purchase a copy and support Kellie/Scott’s important work. https://www.scottnewgent.com/
Feminists in Struggle presents a forum on the independent Cass Review that is blowing holes in the rationalization for the medical transitioning of gender non- conforming children and youth.